I’m Just a Kid

I recently had the privilege of teaching at a school that contained a Nest program component. Nest is a term that denotes how children with autism tend to find security within themselves. To my understanding they are Nesting within the comfort of their own thoughts. People who are neuro-diverse, which simply means their brains process differently, can sometimes misinterpret what is being conveyed by a teacher or classmates and become frustrated and/or agitated. Incidents like this can possibly lead to a number of things such as acting out, shutting down, segregating from others, self-muting, or repetitively make sounds or physical gestures that are soothing to them. This is where training and counseling helps to minimize such episodes by showing students how to rethink certain situations that may have otherwise frightened or caused them to be offended.

The Nest program is an inclusive education model that has been incorporated into New York City public schools developed in partnership with New York University’s Nest Support Project. Although there are several types of neuro-diverse traits, only students who are on the autism spectrum and are independent participate in this program. Nest allows them to matriculate in the general population of students. They also receive life skills training with a skilled Nest facilitator. The training promotes independence and self-advocacy. In addition to assisting the students, the Nest facilitator provides weekly training for the teachers so they can better understand how to communicate and differentiate lessons for Nest students.

For those of you who are skeptical about this mainstream construct, I can assure you that most Nest students produce more work than the general population of students. Many are highly intellectual and the ones who are average or below often put in more effort than their peers of similar intellectual skills. Because this Nest experiment is relatively new, many teachers and parents tend to coddle the students when they are simply kids going through puberty and all the other changes that a teenager goes through.

Case in point: I had two Nest students in my 9^th grade cohort last year (Fake names will be used to reference students). Molly and John were in the same class. John was very verbal and social, where Molly who was an amazing free-hand artist, struggled with socialization and self-muting. Both students are very sweet and kind natured. Their GPA’s were at the top of their 9^th grade class along with another classmate Grey, who was a general education student. Grey was a typical boy who took his work seriously and always strived to get good grades. He was also very playful with his peers to the point of sometimes being downright silly and annoying.  Remember, it’s 9^th grade and they are fresh out of middle school.

High school is a completely different scene for all incoming freshmen and it takes them the entire year plus the summer to mature. This means there is a lot of social following and experimentation involved. John, who was almost always the first person in class, was mannerly and intellectually respected among his peers, yet he struggled with insecurity. This caused him to pick up some bad habits around the middle of the year.  He began to cuss because he heard other students express themselves in that manner. A male teacher reprimanded him about his new behavior, but to no avail. Eventually John went beyond the other students and called a young lady out of her name to garner cool points, not realizing how disrespectful he was. When it occurred, in my class, I told him that his behavior was unacceptable and it was unbecoming on him. I basically told him to “Remember who you are.” He understood better when, after a second incident in my class, a threat to call home was involved. He quickly found himself again. 

Then there is Molly, who wouldn’t even respond to her name the first week of school, slowly, she began to blossom. When called upon in class, she would occasionally answer questions. When paired in student groups, she did her part plus helped others in the group with whom she felt comfortable. Molly even began to carry on full conversations with me when no one was around. Shockingly, one day she helped me decorate my bulletin board.  Like most teachers, I was very protective of her because of her innate ability to self-mute. 

During one of the teacher Nest sessions, it came up that Molly had begun to profusely spray herself with perfume. Everyone became suspicious and thought maybe something negative occurred to bring this about. The Nest facilitator asked the teachers present to pay attention to Molly’s behavior around others in class to see if anyone was bothering her. Automatically, we jumped to conclusions and tried to pinpoint who the culprit/s could be. This fell short when no evidence was revealed. When we couldn’t get Molly to make a confession, the Nest facilitator involved the mom.  Mom said that Molly never complained about anyone, but she too noticed the sudden spraying of perfume and questioned Molly. This went on for about two months when the mother contacted the guidance counselor to say that Molly had referenced two boys in her class.  The guidance counselor brought the issue to me because I had a good relationship the freshmen. I immediately jumped into action.

First, I pulled one of the two accusers to the side and asked if anything had occurred between them and Molly. The student happened to be Grey. He assured me that he and the other boy did nothing to harm Molly in any manner. In fact, it was just the opposite. Because of her ability to self-mute, they made a point not to do anything that she would deem harmful because they knew it would be detrimental to them. To his point, I had observed this behavior by them on one occasion. Despite this, I grilled Grey with all intensity to be certain. If I had called his home, there would have been a price to pay. After hearing Grey out, I took him on his word.  So, I took a step back and re-evaluated the situation. Since I hadn’t spoken to Molly’s mother directly, I needed to start there instead of just taking the guidance counselor’s word.

I called Molly’s mother to get the story straight. Turns out, although Molly somewhat hinted that someone was bothering her, she never said any names. The mother confessed that she wasn’t clear if someone was actually bothering Molly, but she wanted us to investigate. Based on an uncorroborated piece of information, the guidance counselor came up with names. After that discussion, I went to the other so-called culprit involved and he too swore that nothing transpired between them and Molly.  Now this boy and Grey were two of the most charismatic in the 9^th grade class.  Other students, especially girls, gravitated to them. This caused me to pause.

The following day, I took note of how many girls came into my classroom and sprayed themselves with perfume. It was most of the 9^th grade girls along with some upper classmen. Most did it right before they went down to lunch where the boys and girls hovered together. That’s when I realized that although Molly had some social issues, she still behaved like a teen girl who wanted to fit in. After two months of badgering her about why she suddenly felt the need to wear perfume, she came up with a response suitable to our constant inquiries. The bottom line, Molly was just being a 14 year old girl and we couldn’t see that because of her autism. Had I not taken the time to investigate, that situation could have gone left very easily and damaged the reputation of two students.

As educators, we need to be mindful of how we treat all students. Sometimes, smothering our different needs students is not the answer because they’re not infallible, as well as being quick to accuse others of wrongdoing just because they are immature and silly. This was a life lesson for all involved.