Now You See Me, Now You Don’t

It is said that art is an imitation of life.  Conversely, sometimes life imitates art.  While imitation or emulation is deemed the highest form of flattery, it falls short of its intention when the artist’s interpretation gets lost in translation.  Especially if the translation could impose negative implications upon one’s life.

One day I was walking around my classroom, monitoring my students activity on the computer when I came across a student who ventured away from the assignment. Unknown to him, I stood back for a minute and watched what he was doing before addressing him.  He proceeded to pull up a photo of another student on Facebook.  The student in the photo was someone I taught the previous year.  She stood topless with her back to a mirror and her arms crossed over her breasts.  On her back, the words “Art Imitating Life,” were written backwards to be transposed correctly in the mirror image.  I became furious and told him to get off that website. I warned him about the dangers of posting photos of that nature, then told him to get back to work.

The mistake I made was not in chastising my student, it was my open declaration to inform the parents of the student in the photo.  Keep in mind the student in the photo was only a sophomore. The student viewing the picture was a senior.  I understood that sometimes younger students did things to impress their older friends and then there were times when they were manipulated into doing things.  In this instance, I can’t precisely say it was either.  My concern was that these students were playing a dangerous game with their lives. This event took place during the initial stages of Facebook.  There were very few regulations monitoring children’s computer activity, which is why my student was able to open the page on a school computer. 

I waited until I had a break in classes to look up the parent’s information and made the call.  Just so happens the mother answered and I gave her the 411.  In my mind I did a good deed.  If I stood in that parent’s shoes, I would have appreciated a call from the school or any adult who saw my child acting out of order.  To my chagrin the outcome was not what I expected.

The following day at school, the mother returned my call telling me that I was mistaken.  I sat dead silent as a wave of shock came over me.  She proceeded to inform me that it actually was not her child that I saw.  Keep in mind that her daughter sat in my class an entire year the previous school term.  In addition, I came into contact with her regularly as she was friends with the students in my current class.  So, I knew exactly who I was viewing.  Then came the icing on the cake.  She made her daughter show her the image and guess what? It was a picture of another student, therefore, I had to be wrong. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.  Without even attempting to dissuade this parent from the obvious, I apologized for my mistake and got off the phone. 

How gullible could you be as a parent not to realize that your child switched out the photos?  I made that same young man pull up the girl’s page again just to see who was the replacement.  When I saw who it was, I shook my head in disbelief.  The new picture showed a student who looked nothing like the student in question.  If the child even slightly resembled her daughter, I could see the parent’s apprehension.  However, this child possessed none of her daughter’s likeness in age, size, shape, or pigmentation.  How could I have mistaken the two?

It is moments like these that frustrates the heck out of school personnel.  Here you have a child, who albeit, is a fairly all-around good student, but she is not flawless.  ATTENTION ALL PARENTS!  Please let me be the first to inform you that just because your child gets good grades and presents minimal behavior problems it does not mean they are infallible. By the mere fact that they are teenagers and human, they are naturally equipped with the DNA to screw up every once in a while.  Sometimes, your angel will play the devil when away from your eyesight.  I can tell you from personal experience that honor students are mischievous too.  They’re just better at hiding it.  If you think I am lying then you need to binge watch every Law and Order and SVU rerun that focuses on high school students.

Let’s be honest, that problem child of yours is predictable.  You can almost smell when they are about to do something wrong.  That’s why half of your sick days are dedicated to school visits. Then there is the honor student.  Those sweet, innocent and seemingly obedient children can be some of the most manipulative people in the world.  Because they are smart, they think they can outsmart you.  If you are not watchful of these kids, they will have the whole alphabet at your house.  That’s right, the FBI, NSA, CIA, DEA, ICE and FEMA.  That’s why about every two months you need to tell them, “I’m watching you.  When you least expect it, I got eyes on you.”  This will freak them out and make them think twice about participating in mischief. LOL (Just joking)

Seriously, let me put this disclaimer in here before someone gets caught in their feelings.  By no means am I saying what that little girl did, made her a monster.  I am just emphatically stating that all children are capable of making bad decisions, as are adults.  Here was a student who majored in the arts, which is what our school was known for, and she pushed her art too far.  She simply needed a conversation in the dangers of posting on social media.  That was my only intent in calling the mother, which I initially explained to her.  I was not trying to get the child punished. The mother was so caught up in the message and its implications, that she forgot to parent.

In summation, we cannot protect children from every known danger.  Predators are getting slicker and slicker every day.  In our best attempts to educate the children to these dangers is our hope that they will listen and act accordingly.  Just as we adults are not perfect and had to live out our mistakes, so will these children.  Some will fair better than others.  In the meantime, let’s try to work together as a village to see that they become responsible adults. “It takes a village to raise a child.” (African Proverb)

By: Paige Adams